If I only knew what I wanted out of life, it would be so much easier.
Sometimes I think I am mostly looking for change, variety and novelty.
Other times, I think I look for change because I am looking for something.
And that once I have found it, I won't look for change anymore.
Instead, I would look for ways to keep things the same.

It seems that many other people have found that place or thing or time
Where they would rather keep things the same, or at least not too much different.
I am the exact opposite. When I feel that I am in a rut, I look to change everything.
Everything. Anything. The exact opposite. Change everything.
Do anything to get out of the rut, move, run, hide, chase, live, die, just change.

There have been long periods of time when I do try to keep things the same.
When I have a clear goal in mind, and I know it will take years to achieve.
I don't want distractions to obstruct me from reaching my goal. Sometimes
That goal is part of the change. The change is to reach that goal. And then the
Question is always Now What? And the answer is usually: Time for a change.

There have been times, more frequent now than before, when I would dream
Of a time when I wouldn't want to change. When I would want things to stay the same.
The dream I have is more clear now than ever. It involves living in a home in the country.
With a long wooded road leading to our home. A warm glow flickering in the window

There is a place
With things in it.
I am one among them.