This blog is about how to be a schmuck in a controlled environment where your social interactions are limited to a very small set of prescribed actions.



The model environment for such a demonstration is the computer game of Internet Spades played through the Windows XP start bar, whereby one's interaction with one's partner and opponents is limited to approximately 20 preset phrases from which one may select. The phrases are chosen from a drop down menu which inobtrusively requests the chatter to "Select your message to send." The set of phrases was ostensibly created to cover most situations that may arise during a civilized game of spades between gentlemen and gentlewomen. Salutations at the start of the game are effectively encompassed by the ever versatile, yet simple "Hello!", to which another "Hello!" would be a common reply. A "Good Luck!" is also frequently observed. Once the niceties are exchanged, the game may begin in earnest. Following a particularly pleasurable round of card-playing one may offer a congratulatory remark such as "Nice hand!", which may be directed either to one's partner or to the group in general. Phrases such as "Nice Nil!" or "Nice Cover!" are generally thought to be directed to one's partner after securing the valuable 100 points acheived through a difficult Nil hand. However, a particularly congenial opponent may also offer such congratulations to the opposing team.

Thanks partner" may be used as congratulatory remarks . These friendly comments are usually directed towards one own partner, but on rare occasion, one may congratulate one's opponents as a sign of true gamesmanship.





"Nice hand!" "Good job!" "Good luck!" "Hello. are some of the more chipper phraes available.

How is one to be a shmuck when no single action can effectively convey the total schuckiness that one wishes to convey?