Meals in Williamsburg so far:

1) Fried chicken and mac 'n cheese from Pies and Thighs
2) Margherita Classica from Fornino
3) Brisket, molasses ham, cole slaw, acorn squash from Fette Sau
4) Chorizo tacos from taco stand on N.7th and Bedford
5) Fried fish, pineapple fried rice, spring rolls at SEA

What's wrong with this picture?  Toshiba keyboard is shit.  M-key stopped working.  So I had to switch the M-key with the Alt key on the keyboard registry (and then switch the actual keys).  Now I have a retarded keyboard on my $1899, Toshiba Qosmio X505-Q850, Intel Core i7, 18.4" screen, 1080p resolution, Blu-ray player, desk-top replacement, hunk of crap.  I should have bought a Mac. 

Time for a change.

Lots of stuff happening recently.  Fall seems to always be a busy time for me.

1) Got my closing notice for my apartment in Williamsburg.  After much deliberation, I decided to buy the place.  The sponsors allowed me to switch from my original unit priced at 2008 prices to another unit priced at 2010 levels.  It's significantly cheaper and even larger than my original unit, but of course, it doesn't have great views.  However, one reason I decided to switch is that the view from my original unit wasn't as great as I thought it would be.  So in the end, I think it worked out well.  Plan to close in early November.  Need to do a lot before then - arrange financing, inspect apartment, plan move, etc.

2) Tons of work stuff coming up - family court on Monday, a child abuse trial coming up in October, giving 3 lectures in September and probably each month until next summer, book chapters are due, deadlines for my research projects also coming up.  Meanwhile, I am very tempted to start looking for new job opportunities, like the one in Singapore that came up last year.  This year there were openings in New Zealand and Hawaii.  The job market is getting noticeably better, with 16 current listings on the NAME website, versus an average of may 5-10 for the past two years.

3) Seeing someone whom I really like for the first time in a long time.  Hope things continue to go well...  Will try not to jinx it by thinking too much about it.  I will just let things happen and see where it goes.  If it works, that's great, if not, I'll keep looking.

4) Meeting up with lots of old friends. Dipika visiting in October.  Blaise considering moving to Brooklyn because he's having his second child.  Young doing well with his wife and son.  Will meet up with Susie for dinner soon.

5) Continuing with my 10 step plan to be more active - will probably take a rock climbing course in the next few weeks, go winter backpacking this year, and hopefully next year, will climb some major mountains.  Maybe throw in a few hiking trips to Machu Picchu and Kiliminjaro.  Will also look into continuing my swimming lessons.  Maybe start writing again.  Got my new Kindle finally - woohoo.  Hopefully Lumi will not chew through the cable like she's been doing lately. 

Hah, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.  So much going on, so little time...

Went hiking today by myself on Bear Mountain.  I went with a fully loaded backpack (~30 lbs) which was a great workout while climbing to the top of Bear Mountain along the Major Welch trail.  I had done it before without a backpack, and it was tough then.  This time it was insane, plus the temperature was about 90 degrees.  I came back along the Appalachian Trail and actually ran into a thru-hiker.  Also, lots of day hikers.  There were a number of posters for a dog that had run away the night before.  I ran into someone who was looking for the dog and I said I would keep an eye out while I walked down, but I didn't see any dogs.  I started the hike around 10:30AM, and got back to the car around 1PM.  I then went to Mitsuwa and had a mini ramen set with pork belly rice, shio ramen and hard boiled egg. Yummm.  It was a little sabishii eating by myself though.

Yesterday, I had gone on another hike with the Appalachian Mountain Club.  It was a small group led by Bill Lee.  We went by a private lodge house and club within Harriman, Thendara, which was pretty neat.  One of the hikers actually jumped into the lake because it was so hot.  There were about 7 of us originally, and then 2 people split off in the middle to take a shorter hike.  The 5 of us continued the original plan, and then we ended up taking a shortcut also, which cut off about 1 mile from the planned 9 mile hike.  On the way home I drove two people home, a 72 year old woman, retired architect, and a 33 year old Japanese girl, Saori.  We had discussed Mitsuwa on the way back home, which was one reason I went by today.  She actually works at NYU as a graduate student in Microbiology and I had seen her before on one of the other hikes.  She was cute and had a great smile.

The reason I've been hiking so much lately is that I am going on a backpacking trip in 2 weeks in the Sierra Nevadas, with the Sierra Club.  I'm psyched. It will be my first backpacking trip.  I already had most of the gear from all the camping I did with Kazumi last year.  Overall, I will end up spending about $1600 for the trip, including airfare.  $600 for the trip, $600 for the airfare, and $400 for the rental car.  The rental car part is kind of ridiculous because I will be renting it for a week and only driving it for 2 days to get from the airport to the start of the backpacking trip, but I don't see any other way to get there.  I will email the leader tomorrow to see if there are any other options.

Feeling antsy, not sure why, like time is running out.  Went to drop off laundry this morning, then drove to Williamsburg to see 80 Met, but the sales office was closed, then decided to go back to LIC and have breakfast at communitea, but Pulaski bridge was closed for bike tour, so I came home instead.  Went to Starbucks and read  Barron's for about an hour.  Then decided to clean apartment and donate a bunch of electronics.  I took out the hard drive from my desktop computer and will throw the rest away.  I donated my printer, desktop radio, Xbox with games, and a keyboard - basically one heavy box of stuff I never use.  I drove to the Salvation Army in Elmont, Nassau because it has parking.  Then on the way home, I stopped by Belmont Park because it just opened and I had been reading about the Kentucky Derby.  I saw some beautiful horses being walked into the stands.  I didn't pay the $3 admission though.  Maybe next time.  Came home, ate breakfast/lunch/dinner (steak salad), and then watched a little Lord of the Rings on DVD, then took a nap, then went for a walk, wrote some emails, and here I am now.  Feeling antsy.  Lumi is sleeping on the bed.  Thank god for air conditioning.

Went on my first Appalachian Mountain Club hike today.  It was a lot of fun.  I drove up to Cold Spring and two groups, a slow group and a fast group, met at the rail station.  I signed up for the fast group (level 4) first, but then changed my mind when I saw that the fast group people looked like marathon runners.  So I switched to the slow group (level 2).  There was no level 3, which is probably where I am at.  From the rail station, we drove to the trailhead and started hiking right away.  There were 19 of us, including the group leader, Al, and the "sweep", Jacque.   The group leader was a character, cracking jokes all the time, but also very clear about rules - "no whining", "drink lots of water", etc.  The sweep stays at the back of the group and the leader at the front.  It's a pretty efficient system for keeping everyone together.  Most people in the group seemed to be in their 40's, 50's and 60's, so I was probably the youngest one.  Even the fast group seemed to be in their 40's.  We hiked the same peak twice from 2 different sides, for a total of just over 6 miles and about 2000 ft of total elevation, in just over 3 hours, not including 1 hour of breaks and waiting for the group to catch up.  The scenery was amazing at some points, with nice views of the river valley and breakneck ridge.  We had lunch at an abandoned mansion.   I spoke with a Taiwanese woman during lunch, who is a novelist.  After the hike, I was the only person who was driving back to NYC so I gave 3 people a ride, two older women and Jacque.  I dropped them off at midtown.  Overall, it was a good introduction to the AMC and I think I am likely to go on another hike.  There is actually a young members section for people in their 20's and 30's and I already signed up for their mailing list.  They are actually hiking breakneck ridge tomorrow, at level 3, but I may be too tired to go. 

This Wednesday, I'm supposed to have dinner with a girl from match.com.  She is 24, really pretty and intelligent.  Will keep you updated.

Right now, I'm reading "A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson, which is a travelogue of backpacking the Appalachian Trail. 

Ok, it's time to start the new chapter in my life.  The first chapter of my book.  This is the beginning of my writing life.

It's been almost a month since I moved into this apartment in Forest Hills.  I'm depressed.  I miss Kazumi alot, but I don't want to call her because I don't have the right to.  I pushed her away when she needed me the most and I did that because I really thought that she was not the right person for me.  But now I think she may be the only person for me.  I'm back where I was before I met here.  Back to being lonely.  She was somehow able to break through my shell.  Unfortunately, she only made a small hole large enough for her to get through and she ended up getting sucked into my shell, which made her feel suffocated.  For a relationship to work with me, I have to break out of my shell.  I was working on it when I was with Kazumi, but I never really succeeded in breaking out.  I need to make friends.  I should have worked harder to spend more time with Kazumi's friends, and invited her to go out with Blaise, his family, and Young and his family, my only close friends.  I also should have introduced her to Dipika and Akira.     The things we did together - going to Maine, Philadelphia, Atlantic City, Mexico, Montauk, Harriman State Park, Washington DC, - might have seemed boring to most people, but they were some of the best times of my adult life.  I loved driving on the highway with Kazumi sleeping next to me while we were driving someplace, or maybe driving home after a long trip.  What made me happier than anything was seeing Kazumi happy.  I loved it when I would ask her do to something and she would text back "yes!" with an exclamation.

About two weeks ago, Kazumi left a voice mail for me, saying she wanted to talk to me about something.  I called her back but she was out at a club or something because when she answered there was loud music in the background and she couldn't hear me.  She also didn't seem to know that I was calling, but I don't understand why, unless she deleted me from her address book and didn't recognize my number.  I wrote her an email saying that I tried calling her, but she never replied.  I wonder what she wanted to talk about.

Moving into new apartment today in Forest Hills.  Kind of depressing actually.  I feel like I'm going backwards in time.  Not getting ahead.  Apartment was in bad shape.  I had to change the door locks myself.  Air conditioner is broken.  Floors are dirty.  Stove burners are clogged.  Ugh.  What a nightmare. 

If I only knew what I wanted out of life, it would be so much easier.
Sometimes I think I am mostly looking for change, variety and novelty.
Other times, I think I look for change because I am looking for something.
And that once I have found it, I won't look for change anymore.
Instead, I would look for ways to keep things the same.

It seems that many other people have found that place or thing or time
Where they would rather keep things the same, or at least not too much different.
I am the exact opposite. When I feel that I am in a rut, I look to change everything.
Everything. Anything. The exact opposite. Change everything.
Do anything to get out of the rut, move, run, hide, chase, live, die, just change.

There have been long periods of time when I do try to keep things the same.
When I have a clear goal in mind, and I know it will take years to achieve.
I don't want distractions to obstruct me from reaching my goal. Sometimes
That goal is part of the change. The change is to reach that goal. And then the
Question is always Now What? And the answer is usually: Time for a change.

There have been times, more frequent now than before, when I would dream
Of a time when I wouldn't want to change. When I would want things to stay the same.
The dream I have is more clear now than ever. It involves living in a home in the country.
With a long wooded road leading to our home. A warm glow flickering in the window

There is a place
With things in it.
I am one among them.

New Beginnings

So lately I've been trying to be more social, connect with my old friends, make new friends, etc. Last weekend, I actually emailed Young whom I hadn't seen in over a year. He called me back right away and we ended up having dinner together in K-town with another co-worked of his. It was fun. We had too much too drink. I actually threw up when I got home. The next morning is when Kazumi called me but I didn't answer.

I also emailed Dipika and Akira, who I thought were still in Seattle. It turns out they moved back to North Carolina so they could be closer to family. Now that they have a son I guess it helps to be close to extended family. Anyway, they invited me to visit them in NC, which I might do sometime. I haven't seen them in a while and have never met their son.

And then yesterday, I went out with 2 of my co-workers for drinks after work. Believe it or not, that was the first time we actually went out for drinks together. We have lunch together all the time, but this was more fun.

Today, I'm going to go pick up this Taiwanese girl whom I had met once before. It is pretty random, but we are going to get bao in the lower east side. Woohoo.

I have a date on Thursday also with a girl from NJ. We are going to Peasant in Soho.

Well, I think I saw Kazumi for the last time today. She texted me this afternoon saying that she wanted to pick up the baking pans that she had left at my place last year. It was very brief meeting. She was waiting at Duane Reade with some guy who introduced himself as John and who I assume is her new boyfriend. I gave her the pans, as well as a teapot and a container of tea that were also hers. She took them, stepped back and that was it. I think the guy said something like "See you later" which made no sense. We just went out separate ways.

It was kind of a surprise that she contacted me out of nowhere. She actually called me last Saturday also, but I didn't answer and she didn't leave me a message. This time she just texted me. Before that, I hadn't heard from her since January when she wrote me a long email telling me that she was in Japan and missed me. Oh well.