Happy Birthday to me!

Things have calmed down considerably since the beginning of the month. Where I left off on my last post wasn't the end of the story though. After that night on the LIC corner with Alessia holding Kazumi back while I walked away, Kazumi actually came back to my apartment the following day. I was out shopping and came home to see her crouching and putting her ear to my door to hear if I was home. I turned the other way and ducked in the laundry room, but she saw me and trapped me. At this point, I was exhausted of running away from her, so I just opened the door to my apartment and she wedged her way in again. I wouldn't let her come all the way inside, so she sat in the hallway with the door open and we just talked. We went over what we had gone over hundreds of times again. I explained why I didn't think our relationship worked and why I was giving up. She seemed to be in a better mental position and handled it better without becoming extremely depressed or angry. She said that she was going back to Alessia and Jon's place that night. She asked me to walk her to the subway, so I did. We walked around to various subway stations, and I was getting worried that she would refuse to leave again, but in the end, she did leave on her own. I could tell that she was already getting better. She was developing a better perspective on our relationship. But she made me promise that I would see her in a week. It was a Thursday, and I said I would talk to her on the phone next Thursday if she agreed not to contact me that entire week. And then we could discuss the possibility of meeting in the future. But we had to have absolutely no contact by phone, email or in person for 1 week. She agreed to that. The next day she called me and again wanted to know why I broke up with her. She called over and over before I answered. I was brutally honest again about why I was giving up on our relationship. She said that she was going to stay with Paul over the weekend. I didn't hear from her from several days. Then, on Sunday night around 11PM, I got a text from Alessia asking if I was with Kazumi. I said that I hadn't seen or heard from her in several days. Alessia said that Paul had texted her because he was trying to contact Kazumi and he couldn't reach her. Kazumi had apparently spent the weekend with Paul, and earlier that night she had said that if she killed herself then I would have to do the autopsy the next day. It sounded really scary. Then she stopped answering her phone. So Alessia and I discussed what to do. Though it sounded scary, I was actually pretty sure that Kazumi was ok. I thought that this was a test for Paul, with whom she has had a relationship with in the past. She wanted to see whether Paul really loved her. Alessia and I thought that we should call 911 regardless of whether she was just trying to manipulate Paul or really serious about taking her life. She had to know that we wouldn't play guessing games with her life. If she expresses suicidal intent, it will be taken seriously. At the least, someone had to go to her apartment and check on her. Well, Paul, to his credit, came to LIC from Manhattan and tried to check on Kazumi, but the front desk wouldn't let him up. So he called 911 and they were ready to break down her apartment door when Kazumi walked into the building. She was fine, but EMS were already there and since she had expressed suicidal intent, they brought her to Elmhurst Hospital where she stayed overnight. I don't know if Paul went with her, but she called me from the ambulance twice and she had the EMT call me also. I didn't answer. That night and the following day, she called me from the hospital but I didn't answer. I knew that she had other people she could call for help this time - Alessia, Paul, her mom... She left messages explaining what had happened, not knowing that I had been in contact with Alessia all night. But it was better if she didn't know I was involved at all. So I ignored all her calls. I was a little worried because she was still calling me from the hospital on Monday morning, when she was supposed to be at work. That meant that she didn't go to work. I was worried that she would lose her job if she kept missing work over this. But that night, she actually called me from her work number. I didn't answer, but I knew it was the lord and taylor number because I googled it. I felt better because I knew that she was thinking about her job and career. She had worked so hard to build her career, that I would have hated to see it ruined at this point. She called and e-mailed me a few times during the next few days, but I didn't answer. Then eventually she stopped. She hasn't called, emailed, texted or stalked me in the past week. I think she is finally getting on with her life and I am glad she is.