What kind of a life am I living? I really have no clue, but it doesn't seem to be a very typical life. Some might think I am living a wasted life. But I am approaching my life as an experiment, as One life in Many, of my own, to do with as I wish, and I choose to use this life to explore the depths of loneliness. Sometimes, I try to frighten myself by believing this is it, the whole shebang, my one shot at the miracle of life, that each second is precious, to never return. When I was a kid, I used to wonder how much I would crave one second of life, once I was dead for a thousand years. Lying there in the darkness of my coffin, how much would I wish to jump out and run my feet through the leaves? I don't think about those things anymore.

Well, I'm happy to say the whole Yahoo! pool phase of my life is over. In some sense it's reassuring to know that I have the ability to move forward, beyond my idiosyncratic ruts, even if it is only to stumble upon other inane, endlessly time-consuming activities, at least it's change, and change leads to evolution. If I continue to expand my ruts, I am bound to come across a ditch, a deep ditch flowing with torrential currents that will flood me out of the vast, arid, infertile wasteland of my heretofore life. At the moment, though, I am still lost and searching. Searching the internet is like a metaphor to my search for meaning. Certain common themes seem to arise in my wanderings through my usual contingent of website haunts. Take Elsie Lee for example - the exotic, mysterious, alluring direct-investor Elsie Lee with bare feet propped up on her computer desk typing away at the keyboard resting in her lap, looking up the latest stock quotes on Harris Direct, no doubt. She was one of those common themes. Well, now I see that she has taken up golf. She has changed. She had the courage and integrity to get off her ass and learn to putt, even if it means she will no longer be the mysterious, alluring Elsie Lee, direct investor icon of the internet. That takes guts, and I admire that. I still have hope.